She

She

She has lured me, with lust and with love.

Celebrated my ego with pomp and with pus.

In success, in failure, in pain and in pleasure

She

has been.

I’ve followed her, enthralled and listless,

unable to resist the seductress,

limply following her command,

and she has told me her dreams

and she has ripped my clothes to their seams

fondled my patience

and left it wanting,

and left me haunting

her.

She.

She’s enlisted my fears,

as torment.

She’s sung her hopes over me.

She’s caressed my temples with memories,

though forlorn,

her happiness has guided me

through many seasons of melancholy.

She.

I’ve wanted her,

and she’s run.

I’ve forgotten her,

and she’s come.

She’s laid against my soul,

in etchings and words,

that I’ve found in her world,

this lovely, lonely girl.

She.

– janberry © 10 Nov 2017. 3.13am.

 

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growing pain

growing pain

Only now growing up socially…

worse things have happened.

failing forward. inertia dragging my emotions along.
age means nothing anymore,
and I have to accept that,
painful like teeth emerging.
Tooth fairy, spare me a dollar nah?
I’ll pay it back, just let me move forward painlessly.
harder on myself than anyone will ever be,
even still, the warrior way is not…painlessly.

– janberry. © 29 mar 2017. 12.16pm.

title: song retrofitted

188,611,200 seconds ago I was stumbled upon

So, “life didn’t have meaning before?”
before 311 weeks ago…before 52,392 minutes ago
before 3,143,520 milliseconds ago…
…my truthful answer?
“No”

2183 days ago, the crafting of a new being
fashioned itself among unseen whispers
quiet moments
stolen glances lifted
retrofitted
windowed by sonnets
opened so the bird could sing
freed from the breaking throbs of silence
supposing…
supposing that this window would never close to
the dearth
..meaning…before
…before 2183 days ago
there was life there,
but there is so much fullness of it here,
so much certain uncertainty
like being a baby
knowing only that four pairs of arms
carry, feed and love me

closed windows,
open halls that reverb with fullness
i bow
the bows resound

each second counts
in the masterpiece
the conductor purses his lips
and waves
the hair on my forearm raises as i raise my eyebrows,
in an excited inner pace
and wait for his arm to drop
my staccato stops

[exhale]

yes, exhale..
no…
before?
2183 days before?
…now
I surrendered my instruments
to piety and the birds swooped in and out
in to rescue, out to guide
with a poise
that nature booms in daily rhythmic instruction
my senses blur
it’s my turn
i join the symphony
play my lady, play

Encore…!

by janberry © 2012
completed: April 5th, 2012 at 1500 hrs, 4 minutes, 25 milliseconds,