growing pain

growing pain

Only now growing up socially…

worse things have happened.

failing forward. inertia dragging my emotions along.
age means nothing anymore,
and I have to accept that,
painful like teeth emerging.
Tooth fairy, spare me a dollar nah?
I’ll pay it back, just let me move forward painlessly.
harder on myself than anyone will ever be,
even still, the warrior way is not…painlessly.

– janberry. © 29 mar 2017. 12.16pm.



DISP – Day 4


The vanguard of design
Determines desire

This was all decided before I existed
So I could only study it
And then study it’s redefinition
And how it impacts my definition of me
My identity
The bedrock of personality
Personality is inbuilt
Desire added
Identity claimed
And sexuality a product of none,
but decided, before me
Before my identity, personality and desire
The thought patterns that drive holy living
override the modus operandi of unholy living
Again, these are operated by the pre-set definitions
The true question is who determines these for you
And what is the outflow of adopting any one ‘set’…

– to be continued

17 aug 2015. © janberry

Image credit:



Restless – Day 3

I wonder what children think of adults.
I face painted today
And ran out of black
But I found new possibilities
without it
Without a few colours in my pallette
I believe that I’ve been painted in to the crevices
And then I spread into the spaces..
I grow less scared of myself
I am powerful

16 aug 2015 © janberry


Volition – Day 2…

Psalm 62
I listen as I run
If you listen to it, you hear
beginning in the center
‘For God alone my soul waits in silence’ begins
I wait tuning out the sound and force of my feet
I wait
turning my thoughts
Turn them
Drive them as a car is driven
Can desire be forfeited?
Emotion upended?
‘For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence’…
steadying my breath
ignoring my sweat
I can turn them
with the same volition
I use to motor my legs
my self
throwing my shoulders back
as on my God alone,
running…my soul,
I wait..

© 15.Aug.2015 1:15pm

Stars fall Aloud…Day 1

Stars fall Aloud…Day 1

As of last night, I have begun a marathon of poems with the intent of tracing a thought pattern to it’s origin..with a poem everyday …and so, it begins, Day 1…

Stars fall aloud

There are so many stars in the sky
Why do we only see them when night draws the curtain on light?
Are they meant to take our breath away
As slumber possesses it instead
My sensitivities are laid bear in this quiet
The breaking of the waves feels like the breaking of consciousness
I wanted company
Instead, the waters obliged me
Truth is..I’m chasing me
but trapped behind the facade of night
The flambeau that I use to peer forward has run amok
And is burning my hand and clothes and skin..
Some are recessed and some hang low
Some things are hidden, some things I know…
It’s an uncomfortable repose..
Left to swindle my tongue
Sing a right and I’ll write a wrong
I’m a danger zone
I’ve avoided as much as I can of the civility of nearness
My human instinct reduced to moments of need that come and then are made to flee
This is a breaking
Like these waves
What do you see at the shore
Mostly just the swell and the foam
Do you see the currents as they groan
Exchanging destinies for silence
Beneath the surface giving no promise
Make sense of this for me God
Bring the tensions that fight against themselves beneath this sea beneath this sky
Give them air to breath that isn’t lullaby
Don’t make them sleep there God
Give them air
Bring them up in a swell
And land them on me
Beached by my affections
My tenderness overturned
I’m hardened
But will wait

…to be continued

15.Aug.2015 10.36pm © janberry


pearl of song

pearl of song

pearl of song

The demands of life – its trials, stresses, failures..

surmised as the frailty of a dainty teacup broken

by the simple task of washing wares.

Little feet that beckon for attention

could possibly quell this mounting desire.

Tension and strain some days


Tools in hand for a task not yet assigned.

Time, my friend,

will assuage the mocking chimes,

the sweetness of rarity,

the pearls of song

waiting to be uncovered

and strung.

Along the way, as preparation

lay its soiled robes

at my feet

for me to walk

and sing

and chant

or rant

And listen for the wave

that will rustle the sand

and bring me a man

who will ward off crab

and lift the slab

that hides me in its shadow.

Sea weeds that grew will shrink

beneath the feet of God’s

beholding charm,

to bring the man

to bear the pearl,

his wisdom gleaming

in rightful eye,

and with a resting sigh,

will open the pearl, and unearth the girl

whose shell once cloistered

God’s work, her worth,


upon the sea

where she will be


– janberry. 25 august 2014. 4:55pm.

(Photo Credit: