hope. alone.

hope. alone.

is oftentimes, enough…

– janberry. 21sep2017. 7:08pm.

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Point of Return

Feels foolish, yea…and then you say, nothing tried, nothing gained. You can learn about yourself and others by venturing… adventuring.

If you don’t go bravely, you would remain naive, about your own reflection.

Be courageous, and you’d see your desire. You’d own it, and admit your needs. In that light, you can make a decision. Run or stay, but see it all in the light of truth. The fear of possibility is the same as the despair of impossibility. It all begins at the point of return.

– janberry. 30 aug 2017. 10.43pm.

growing pain

Only now growing up socially…

worse things have happened.

failing forward. inertia dragging my emotions along.
age means nothing anymore,
and I have to accept that,
painful like teeth emerging.
Tooth fairy, spare me a dollar nah?
I’ll pay it back, just let me move forward painlessly.
harder on myself than anyone will ever be,
even still, the warrior way is not…painlessly.

– janberry. © 29 mar 2017. 12.16pm.

Far from finished

Far from Finished by Voice revealed our innately progressive nature, always yearning and stretching toward a better self. Trinbagonian optimism overrides our toughest circumstances, and Full Extreme from Ultimate Rejects captured this unflinchingly. The truest songs always resonate the most.

When 3 Canal’s, Blue, was first released, I was still cloistral; living aside from my queerness and love for women. In the video for Blue, I saw in the gyrations, a liberation and celebration that made me ask my teenaged self, ‘When will I ever be blue?’

I fought myself for 20 years and my self won. I am blue this year, blue with liberation, blue with celebration, blue with self knowledge, blue with empowerment, blue with gratitude…20 years later. How magical! Time is writing me an awesomely #blue story.

“So run tell Iwer George and Blaxx that they cyah take meh title..dis year, I’s meh only rival..” – Voice, Far From Finished

I am my only rival and I’m far from finished. – Janberry

Social? Media

A few days ago I closed all my social media – Facebook and then Instagram and lastly Twitter.

I found two things to be true for me:

Social media had become an extension of my pride..my ego..a need to control the narrative surrounding who I am…thereby making me feel good, feel proud.

I could succeed at social media but still fail at social interaction, and social interaction is something that I will always need to apply extra effort to. I’ve seen time and time again how social media and social interaction are not the same.

Growing up the way I did, it’s imperative that I get better at social interaction. It’s way too easy for me to revert to my comfort zone…being alone with a book or a paper and pen..and just not talk for weeks, months, years..

I came off social media so I could focus on actually increasing my social skills. That might be the height of irony.