Androgyny Pt 1

Androgyny Pt 1

I notice the things men typically notice…your saunter..the way you smile when you’re nervous..the roundness of your bosom… Since I was a teenager I’ve been struggling with my awareness of these subtleties. It has always made me extremely self-conscious, simultaneously wanting to tell you that you’re beautiful and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for noticing that. Being an open book, it’s hard knowing that there is probably a gleam in my eye when I look at you…you, woman. In my fourth decade of life, I’m still trying to figure out how to hide the effect you have on me.
– Janberry

This series is meant to elaborate on the experience of an androgynous female..This entry raises more questions. Why do I feel this way? Is this normal? What percentage of this can I attribute to childhood experiences (negative or positive)? Whether or not these questions can or will be answered, I have determined not to continue fearing myself and how I feel…to stop being afraid of who I am, and venture into the expression of myself without first trying to subdue those parts.

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