I’m in the middle of a blowing, knowing nothing but the ropes that were slung over the anchor.
I cling to their tassels, grabbing onto threads. Help me to hold on with deep rest…relaxed and free.
First to seek thee…my pursuits pointed at you only. Help me.
Note: So, I just expanded my businesses, taking major and expensive steps, with both: greenInk Ltd and Making Faces Ltd. For the past month, I’ve been mostly anxious…my mind grinding constantly with thoughts of overheads, marketing, sales and client-work. My mind not constantly pondering and meditating on the truths I know exist in God and God alone…for the past couple of days, my life could finally eke out some fruit, and thus, I write.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and all shall be added onto you”….I’m reminded of this especially because as a diligent and hard-worker…once committed, I put in effort, time, and thought to what I am involved in. Last year was a year that drained me of a lot of reliance on my ability to bring things about…I’m praying myself out of the regretfulness of it all, but last year I gave up much stability for an opportunity to resume studies in England in my chosen field, ‘Communication Design’ after a much-too-long hiatus from formal education. After a year and a half of effort, prayer and fight, it has not come to pass, and I relinquish…hands down, defeated, full of doubt, disappointed and bitter about the certainty of any opportunity or good thing. It took a great measure of effort once more to embark on something…anything that did not involve quitting.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and all shall be added onto you”….I was reminded of this time and time again over the past few days. I’ve also been meditating on Psalm 95 that spoke to the Israelites of the place of God, his might, his way.. I’m reminded that I am a creation, and God is my creator…reminded to worship God and follow him in good times and bad..In times when my plans, my thoughts, my efforts come to naught, I worship God..because he knows my needs. Today is enough stress, why give myself a headache over tomorrow, or even yesterday. It is what it was, it will be what it would, and it is now what it ought. God is good…I’m reminded to seek him first, although so many of the things I dream about seem to say to me, ‘..not yet..’