Alone

As I said before, I’m journeying with the crew on Star Trek Voyager, and wheyyyyy, the episode where Seven of Nine is alone on the ship, is the one I watch right after I lose a friend to circumstance. The circumstance: I grew to like him during the course of our friendship and therefore could no longer remain his friend, unless our relationship moved along with my feelings…In fairness to myself and him, I opted to guard my ‘ticker ticker’ from further heartache. Strangely enough, because of my habit of withdrawing from people, I’ve not been able to maintain friendships long enough for them to dig deep into my life. Oh, some friendships have impacted me greatly as I move through people, in different times and places. One thing I’ve lacked all through life though is a best friend. You know, some of you have friends that have been around since, like, forever. It has not been like that for me. But I sense a growing need for people (more than one, eh – spread the love) around me who I can open up to..come out of this shell and enjoy life with. I can experience God’s love through them. I can grow as a person, by impacting their lives positively as well.

When Voyager enters a nebulous area of space with extremely high radiation, the crew finds they have a choice; put the entire crew into protective stasis for a one month journey through the nebula, or take a year and divert around the vast area of space. Only Seven of Nine and the Doctor will be able to remain awake a journey through the nebula. Capt. Janeway decides to trust the ship and crew to Seven and the Doctor, but the trip through the nebula soon shows signs of affecting Seven more than was thought. The question becomes, can she hold on to the control of her faculties long enough to make it through the long journey, with only the Doctor as her companion?

This episode, dealt with Seven’s inability to cope on the ship alone, when as part of the Collective, she’d grown so accustomed to being one of many, always connected to such a vast number of other drones. Now, no longer a drone, and re-adapting to human behaviour, she is challenged by the concept of not only operating as an individual, with her own perceptions and logic, but by being alone and what that means. She is alone, but must adapt.

I have to stop withdrawing. As comforting as that may seem, it is damaging to my psyche and will always haunt my relationships, if I don’t at once, first realize that this does me no good..then continue to co-operate with God as he shows me the truth in this matter and heal me in this area.

I’ve lost a friend, but I will get another and I will grow. I’m coming out!

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